Wednesday, January 19, 2011

imprOve yOur relatiOnships with effective cOmmunicatiOn skills

cOnflict in a relatiOnship is virtually itself, conflict isn’t a problem; how it’s handled, however, can bring people together or tear them apart..poor communication skills, disagreements and misunderstandings can be a source of anger and distance, or a springboard to a stronger relationship and happier future. 

here is hOw yOu can imprOve yOur cOPmmunicatiOn skills:
Stay Focused
  • Sometimes it’s tempting to bring up past seemingly related conflicts when dealing with current ones. Unfortunately, this often clouds the issue and makes finding mutual understanding and a solution to the current issue less likely, and makes the whole discussion more taxing and even confusing. Try not to bring up past hurts or other topics. Stay focused on the present, your feelings, understanding one another and finding a solution.
Listen Carefully
  • People often think they’re listening, but are really thinking about what they’re going to say next when the other person stops talking. Truly effective communication goes both ways. While it might be difficult, try really listening to what your partner is saying. Don’t interrupt. Don’t get defensive. Just hear them and reflect back what they’re saying so they know you’ve heard. Then you’ll understand them better and they’ll be more willing to listen to you.
Try To See Their Point of View
  • In a conflict, most of us primarily want to feel heard and understood. We talk a lot about our point of view to get the other person to see things our way. Ironically, if we all do this all the time, there’s little focus on the other person’s point of view, and nobody feels understood. Try to really see the other side, and then you can better explain yours. Others will more likely be willing to listen if they feel heard.
Use “I” Messages
  • Rather than saying things like, “You really messed up here,” begin statements with “I”, and make them about yourself and your feelings, like, “I feel frustrated when this happens.” It’s less accusatory, sparks less defensiveness, and helps the other person understand your point of view rather than feeling attacked.
Ask For Help If You Need It
  • If one or both of you has trouble staying respectful during conflict, or if you’ve tried resolving conflict with your partner on your own and the situation just doesn’t seem to be improving, you might benefit from a few sessions with a therapist. Couples counseling or family therapy can provide help with altercations and teach skills to resolve future conflict. If your partner doesn’t want to go, you can still often benefit from going alone.
Own What’s Yours
  • Realize that personal responsibility is a strength, not a weakness. Effective communication involves admitting when you’re wrong. If you both share some responsibility in a conflict (which is usually the case), look for and admit to what’s yours. It diffuses the situation, sets a good example, and shows maturity. It also often inspires the other person to respond in kind, leading you both closer to mutual understanding and a solution.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

hOw tO manage ur time as a student..

  • Get a piece of paper and make a chart. List the days of the week in one row and going down write down the hours of each day starting from 7 a.m. or whatever time you wake up. Then starting with Monday, write down everything you do each hour. If you have classes at certain times of the week, fill those in. If you go to lunch at certain times of the week fill those in too. Next you should fill in times when you go to bed and how long you stay in bed. Also fill in the times when you have extracurricular activities or work.

  • Some people use day planners and others use big monthly calendars (whatever works best for you, use it). On your monthly calendar or weekly planner, write down all the committed activities that you're in on a weekly basis like ports, dance team, meetings, etc. This shows how much time you're dedicated to extracurricular activities. If you see that you don't have much time to study because you have too many commitments, cut back on your extra activities. Now that you've filled in all the commitments, you can finally see the times during each day were you have free time.

  • Now that you're able to know when you are free, why not take those times to study your work. You can study in intervals like take 15 minutes to do math and take another 15 minutes to do science. You can work it anyway you like, as long as you use this time devoted to your studies. Also, don't forget to make time for yourself. Go for a nice walk, or workout at the gym. Keep your body healthy..=)

  • This is also very important. Go back to the calendar with all those commitments and meetings on it. Now look over your syllabus for each of your classes and mark what's due when. If you have a big paper coming up in two weeks, mark that on your calendar and but a big red circle around it. Also find the dates of any test, midterms, finals, etc. and also mark those down on your calendar in red. If you're caught up with your work, why not work ahead. Take time during week to get ahead on a chapter in a class. That way you'll have more free time to do other things you enjoy without worrying about failing a test or exam.
  • Getting ready for a big test or exam can be really stressful. It's important to make the right decisions around exam time. First, if you're in any extracurricular activities that are getting in the way of major studying time, put those on hold until your exam is done. Next, make a 5-day study plan. Choose a week to study certain subjects for a few hours each day. That way, you won't have to cram the night before and you won't feel as stressed about the test. Another good way to prepare for a big test is to join or form a study group with your peers. This is a great way to quiz what you've learned and to see other people's perspective on the information as well.

  • Once you've gotten all your priorities in order, you're able to have time for fun things like partying, and hanging out with friends. You also can do these things without having the guilt of flunking your classes.

Thursday, January 6, 2011

hOw to make a flOwer..

i have a new hObby..and nOw i want tO share with yOu all..
hOw tO make a flOwer with paper..
fOr's nOt easy..haha..
i have tO try fOr many time..
and thanks least i can dO it...haha
here..i give yOu all the steps tO make it..

after finish..will be like this..♥♥♥

sO..try tO make it..gud luck..(◕‿-)

whO have the key tO my heart?..

i'm waiting fOr sOmeOne whO have the key tO my heart..
i had lOst it somewhere..
i wish i cOuld fOund it again..
if yOu gOt the key tO my heart..
please give it back tO me..
if yOu want tO keep On hOlding it..
hOw can i give it tO sOmeOne else whO deserve tO get it...
if yOu want tO keep it..
please makes sure yOu keep it safe..
my heart are fragile..easily tO brOken intO pieces..
Once its brOken..
it's hard tO keep it tOgether again..

then i was thinking..
how does its feel to be in love?..
how does its feel to love and love by someone?..
how does its feel to miss your love one so badly?..

please give me back the key tO my heart..♥♥♥