Wednesday, January 19, 2011

imprOve yOur relatiOnships with effective cOmmunicatiOn skills

cOnflict in a relatiOnship is virtually inevitable..in itself, conflict isn’t a problem; how it’s handled, however, can bring people together or tear them apart..poor communication skills, disagreements and misunderstandings can be a source of anger and distance, or a springboard to a stronger relationship and happier future. 

here is hOw yOu can imprOve yOur cOPmmunicatiOn skills:
Stay Focused
  • Sometimes it’s tempting to bring up past seemingly related conflicts when dealing with current ones. Unfortunately, this often clouds the issue and makes finding mutual understanding and a solution to the current issue less likely, and makes the whole discussion more taxing and even confusing. Try not to bring up past hurts or other topics. Stay focused on the present, your feelings, understanding one another and finding a solution.
Listen Carefully
  • People often think they’re listening, but are really thinking about what they’re going to say next when the other person stops talking. Truly effective communication goes both ways. While it might be difficult, try really listening to what your partner is saying. Don’t interrupt. Don’t get defensive. Just hear them and reflect back what they’re saying so they know you’ve heard. Then you’ll understand them better and they’ll be more willing to listen to you.
Try To See Their Point of View
  • In a conflict, most of us primarily want to feel heard and understood. We talk a lot about our point of view to get the other person to see things our way. Ironically, if we all do this all the time, there’s little focus on the other person’s point of view, and nobody feels understood. Try to really see the other side, and then you can better explain yours. Others will more likely be willing to listen if they feel heard.
Use “I” Messages
  • Rather than saying things like, “You really messed up here,” begin statements with “I”, and make them about yourself and your feelings, like, “I feel frustrated when this happens.” It’s less accusatory, sparks less defensiveness, and helps the other person understand your point of view rather than feeling attacked.
Ask For Help If You Need It
  • If one or both of you has trouble staying respectful during conflict, or if you’ve tried resolving conflict with your partner on your own and the situation just doesn’t seem to be improving, you might benefit from a few sessions with a therapist. Couples counseling or family therapy can provide help with altercations and teach skills to resolve future conflict. If your partner doesn’t want to go, you can still often benefit from going alone.
Own What’s Yours
  • Realize that personal responsibility is a strength, not a weakness. Effective communication involves admitting when you’re wrong. If you both share some responsibility in a conflict (which is usually the case), look for and admit to what’s yours. It diffuses the situation, sets a good example, and shows maturity. It also often inspires the other person to respond in kind, leading you both closer to mutual understanding and a solution.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

hOw tO manage ur time as a student..

MAKE A STUDY LOG
  • Get a piece of paper and make a chart. List the days of the week in one row and going down write down the hours of each day starting from 7 a.m. or whatever time you wake up. Then starting with Monday, write down everything you do each hour. If you have classes at certain times of the week, fill those in. If you go to lunch at certain times of the week fill those in too. Next you should fill in times when you go to bed and how long you stay in bed. Also fill in the times when you have extracurricular activities or work.

GET A CALENDAR
  • Some people use day planners and others use big monthly calendars (whatever works best for you, use it). On your monthly calendar or weekly planner, write down all the committed activities that you're in on a weekly basis like ports, dance team, meetings, etc. This shows how much time you're dedicated to extracurricular activities. If you see that you don't have much time to study because you have too many commitments, cut back on your extra activities. Now that you've filled in all the commitments, you can finally see the times during each day were you have free time.

USE YOUR FREE TIME WISELY
  • Now that you're able to know when you are free, why not take those times to study your work. You can study in intervals like take 15 minutes to do math and take another 15 minutes to do science. You can work it anyway you like, as long as you use this time devoted to your studies. Also, don't forget to make time for yourself. Go for a nice walk, or workout at the gym. Keep your body healthy..=)

STAY ON TOP OF DUE DATES AND HOMEWORK
  • This is also very important. Go back to the calendar with all those commitments and meetings on it. Now look over your syllabus for each of your classes and mark what's due when. If you have a big paper coming up in two weeks, mark that on your calendar and but a big red circle around it. Also find the dates of any test, midterms, finals, etc. and also mark those down on your calendar in red. If you're caught up with your work, why not work ahead. Take time during week to get ahead on a chapter in a class. That way you'll have more free time to do other things you enjoy without worrying about failing a test or exam.
BE PREPARED FOR THOSE EXAMS
  • Getting ready for a big test or exam can be really stressful. It's important to make the right decisions around exam time. First, if you're in any extracurricular activities that are getting in the way of major studying time, put those on hold until your exam is done. Next, make a 5-day study plan. Choose a week to study certain subjects for a few hours each day. That way, you won't have to cram the night before and you won't feel as stressed about the test. Another good way to prepare for a big test is to join or form a study group with your peers. This is a great way to quiz what you've learned and to see other people's perspective on the information as well.

PARTY IT UP
  • Once you've gotten all your priorities in order, you're able to have time for fun things like partying, and hanging out with friends. You also can do these things without having the guilt of flunking your classes.

Thursday, January 6, 2011

hOw to make a flOwer..

i have a new hObby..and nOw i want tO share with yOu all..
hOw tO make a flOwer with paper..
fOr me..it's nOt easy..haha..
i have tO try fOr many time..
and thanks God..at least i can dO it...haha
here..i give yOu all the steps tO make it..









after finish..will be like this..♥♥♥

sO..try tO make it..gud luck..(◕‿-)

whO have the key tO my heart?..

nOw..
i'm waiting fOr sOmeOne whO have the key tO my heart..
i had lOst it somewhere..
i wish i cOuld fOund it again..
if yOu gOt the key tO my heart..
please give it back tO me..
if yOu want tO keep On hOlding it..
hOw can i give it tO sOmeOne else whO deserve tO get it...
if yOu want tO keep it..
please makes sure yOu keep it safe..
my heart are fragile..easily tO brOken intO pieces..
Once its brOken..
it's hard tO keep it tOgether again..


then i was thinking..
how does its feel to be in love?..
how does its feel to love and love by someone?..
how does its feel to miss your love one so badly?..


please give me back the key tO my heart..♥♥♥

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

shOuld we fear chOcolate?

Women on a diet or women who are conscious of their weight and figure always display a certain fear of chocolate. They avoid it like plague, thinking that the sugar and the calories that chocolate contains will make their diet and weight-loss plans go haywire. And yet, when things go wrong and they are feeling down, they go and raid the fridge and gobble on as much chocolate as they can. When these women come to their senses later on, they feel horribly guilty and try to burn the sugar and calories gained from the binge.

Chocolate is a feel-good food; it is always associated with feelings of comfort and love. It is sweet and melts deliciously in the mouth. It induces the production of endorphins in the body, endorphins being hormones that reduce the feelings of pain in the body and makes the body feel pleasure in its stead. Chocolates are often given to children as rewards for good behavior. A lover (or a potential lover) gives a woman a box of chocolates to show his affection. 

Given that chocolates do contain sugar and calories that dieting women find highly undesirable, should we women fear chocolate? The answer to this is that they should not. Eating chocolate is not something to be feared or avoided as if one's life depends on not seeing a piece of that brown, melt-in-the-mouth sweet. Chocolate is not known to be physiologically addictive. Whatever cravings chocolate induces in a woman is all in her mind. In fact, chocolate can be beneficial, if eaten in the correct manner. 

So, how should we eat and enjoy chocolate without feeling even an iota of fear or guilt? Simply put, chocolate should be eaten in small amounts, and the experience of eating chocolate should be savored. Chocolate should be eaten as a treat rather than a snack. If one is feeling hungry, she should eat a proper meal or a snack that is not loaded on calories. Besides, research has proven that consuming chocolate when one is not hungry lessens the craving for it. 

Another thing about eating chocolate is that it should be eaten slowly. Chocolate should be eaten for the pure pleasure of it, so it should be savored. Feeling guilty about eating chocolate will only make the person eat it faster and consume more. One cannot taste chocolate, or anything for that matter, if it is eaten far too quickly, and one will only end up wanting more. 

A third thing to remember about eating chocolate is that less is more. One will get more pleasure out of eating a small piece of dark chocolate than from a cookie laden with chocolate chips, simply because there is more chocolate in a small bar than in a cookie. If you are going to take in calories from chocolate, there is no point to adding more to your calorie count by eating something else with the chocolate. 

Lastly, chocolates should be kept in a place that is not easily accessible so one would not give in to a sudden binge if the cravings hit her. It should be stored where it is not always in one's line of sight.
Chocolates are not to be feared. They are comfort foods and should be considered as a treat and a reward to one's self. Chocolates are good.

lets dance tOgether..

Dance is a perfect way to get in shape and build mind, bOdy and spirit.. 

There is nothing more fun than cutting loose on the dance floor..you start bobbing your head to the beat and all of a sudden you just have to move your shoulder, then your hips, then your feet. Pretty soon you are tearing it up on the floor like nobody’s watching.

The adrenaline starts pumping and sweat is dripping down your face, but you don’t care because it feels so good to just shake it. What is it that makes dance so awesome? Well, dance is one of those rare things that can burn calories, sculpt gorgeous lean muscles, train your mental focus and lift your spirit all at the same time.
Professional dancers and those that train in various dance techniques challenge their mind, body and spirit every time they step into the studio. With choreography ever changing and evolving dancers memories must be lightening fast. There is no separation between mind and body.
 
So much needs to be absorbed that all that can exist is the present moment. Much like meditation, dance takes extreme focus and discipline of the mind/body connection. Spiritually, dance enlivens the soul and allows an outlet for expression and creativity.

Expressing yourself through dance is completely different from verbal communication. Movement is so instinctual and telling. Beyond the artistic expression aspect of dance, it’s fun and uplifting. I don’t think anyone on the planet has ever regretted twirling around their bedroom to their favorite song. It’s an instant way to boost your mood or gain energy. Physically, dance is incredibly demanding and can be a great way for anyone to get into shape. Dancers have long been revered for their long, lean muscles, strength and flexibility.

Get up and dance!!!!

save yOurself frOm stress..

Signs of stress:
  • Feeling depressed, edgy, guilty, tired.
  • Having headaches, stomach aches, trouble sleeping.
  • Laughing or crying for no reason.
  • Blaming other people for bad things that happen to you.
  • Only seeing the down side of a situation.
  • Feeling like things that you used to enjoy aren't fun or are a burden.
  • Resenting other people or your responsibilities. 
dear friends..make sure yOu all doesn't have this sign of stress..(◕‿-)..

natural lOok..

Putting on makeup can be a daunting task for women who are not really adept at the art of makeup and are not familiar with the right techniques and with picking the right colors for their skin tone and eye color. Common fears include choosing the wrong colors for the skin or colors that do not match the outfit, putting on too little or too much, or botching the makeup altogether. Instead of putting on makeup, there are women who opt for just the ordinary face powder or talcum powder and a dash of lipstick (which may or may not be the right color for their lips either), and then they are done.

Makeup is supposed to enhance the features of our face rather than to cover it, and nothing is more alluring than what is known as the natural look. For those who do not know much about makeup, or know nothing at all, achieving the natural look is pretty easy. The key to doing it is matching the color of your foundation with the tones of your skin, as well as using shades that go well with the undertones of your skin.

A quick tip:
  • when buying foundation, test the match of the product with your skin tone by applying it against your jaw line and letting it on your face for a few minutes. Go ahead and see how it looks like in daylight, rather than in artificial light to see how well it goes with your skin. The perfect foundation for you blends well with the color of your skin, so much that it is hardly noticeable.
  • If your skin has beige tones. If your skin has beige tones with a touch of peach or pink, the colors you should go for are shades of peach, pink and apricot for your lips and cheeks. Cover up whatever blemishes you have on your skin with a concealer before applying the foundation, and then dust the foundation off with matching loose powder. Make sure that your foundation has SPF because skin like yours burns easily under the sun. Also, try not to put on too much makeup on your face because too much will look harsh on your skin and make you look older. Finish off with a shimmering peach or pink lip gloss.
  • If your skin has olive tones. If your skin has olive tones, the best way to go is with foundation with warm colors like golden brown. Skin with olive tones is also generally oilier than most, so try to stay away from foundation with shimmer in it to reduce the shine. For a sun-kissed look, apply a touch of bronzer on the apples of your cheeks, the bridge of your nose and a little on your forehead. For your lips, outline it with a nude-colored lip pencil, and then apply clear gloss.
  • If your skin has yellow tones. If your skin has yellow tones, stay away from ivory or pink for your foundation and stick to warmer hues with a yellow base. Also, avoid using powder foundations; yellow-toned skin tends to get dry and flaky, and so powder foundations will only emphasize this unnecessarily. Finish with a light cream blush, colored pink, on the apples of your cheeks, and a light pink gloss for your lips.
To get a smoother finish on your foundation, apply moisturizer on your skin first as a base. Remember to put on only the right amount of moisturizer and dab off any excess with tissue. Too little moisturizer will make it hard for the foundation to blend, and too much will make your makeup run off your skin.

what is cOncealer?..

The right concealer can hide just about every imperfection and give you flawless skin. Gently pat concealer on with fingertips, or brush on with a soft flat brush. Anyone who has less than perfect skin needs a good concealer.
  • Hint: Concealer should cover entire under-eye, including outside of eye to give it lift. The outside of the eye is also prone to redness and dryness.
  • Liquid concealer is especially recommended for dry skin and for concealing large areas like under-eye circles.
  • Solid concealer is necessary to hide stubborn pimples, scars and bruises.
A more natural looking concealer is a cream-to-powder foundation. Match it to the shade of liquid or cream foundation.
  • Hint: With liquid or solid foundation, best results are obtained by using concealer afterwards. When using a cream-to-powder foundation, concealer should go on first.
Use the residue in the cap of your foundation as the perfect concealer. It's slightly dehydrated, making it just the right thickness to conceal. And of course, it matches your foundation beautifully..

right way to wash yOur hair..~

  • The first thing you should do is to comb the tangles out of the hair before you wet it so the hair would wash easily and the tangles would not worsen.
  • Then, wet your hair thoroughly under the shower. You can use either warm or cold water if you like, but for best results, you can wet your hair with warm water to open the scale-like cuticles of the hair and wash all the oil and dirt off. 
  • And then, you can rinse your hair with cold water afterwards to close the cuticles and add to the shine of your hair. 
  • Rinse your hair under the shower to rid it of the leave-on conditioner and styling aids you have used previously, using gentle strokes of your fingertips. 
  • Then, pour a dollop of shampoo in the palm of your hand. 
  • Rub your hands together, and then apply the shampoo to your scalp. 
  • Take note that you should put the shampoo on your scalp and not at the ends of your hair, as the shampoo would dry your hair's ends and cause it to weaken and split. 
  • Also, do not mix your hair all over your head as you shampoo because it will get all tangled up. After this, rinse the shampoo off. 
  • We need to shampoo our hair for a second time. The purpose of the first shampoo is to clean the oil and dirt off, the second shampoo is supposed to let the shampoo treat our hair. So, repeat the process, but let the shampoo sit on for around a couple of minutes. 
  • Rinse the hair completely after this. 
  • To get the excess water off your hair, just squeeze the water out. Do not pull or tug at the hair because the hair is at its most delicate when it is soaked. 
  • When the excess water is out, apply a dollop of conditioner and apply it along the hairline, the nape and the ends of the hair. 
  • Pile your hair then inside a shower cap and let the conditioner stay there for around ten minutes. And then, rinse it off completely.